My Journey with Stephen

I first met Pam and Dave more than 35 years ago when they were living in the Washington, DC area. They hosted Bill and me and our three children for dinner in their home even before they had Stephen. That invitation started a life-changing journey for our families, and we have been friends ever since. They were brave and courageous then and still are today!

In fact, when we received the telephone call from Dave on Monday saying they needed us—we said, “What a way for Stephen to go. He went to sleep and stepped right into the arms of Jesus.” We immediately went to their home and breathed a prayer of thanks that we were here in Arizona to share in their pain at “such a time as this.” Maybe God knew their needs when our house sold so quickly in Ohio and we were able to recently move out here.

Our entire Washington, DC, Church of the Nazarene family is greatly saddened by the news of Stephen’s sudden passing. Now, from different areas of the world, they send their condolences to you—Pam, Dave, Jeffrey, Kristen, Darien and Crysta, plus all of you extended family members. Two of these couples are here today. We were privileged to know Dave’s mother, as well as Pam’s mother and father. When our mutual friends have asked about how you were doing, we’ve responded, “They are doing just like they have lived their lives every day—faithful and on a firm foundation!”

In 1979, their lives changed significantly with the birth of Stephen.

A couple of years later Jeffrey was born, and I had the privilege of taking care of Stephen while Pam was in the hospital for Jeffrey’s birth.

Our church family prayed unceasingly when Stephen underwent life-altering surgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. He was one of our children, and we all shared the pain. God intervened and touched Stephen, and his life was extended beyond what doctors predicted.

When Jeffrey was diagnosed with meningitis, I met Dave at Fairfax Hospital and, again, took Stephen home with me. Once again our corporate prayers were answered as Jeffrey fully recovered. His big brother Stephen loved Jeffrey more than he could ever express. That love was mutual. Stephen always looked out for Jeffrey! When people were passing out give-always, Stephen really didn’t care if he received one, but he made sure he got one for Jeffrey. Jeffrey, we love you, and are so happy to see you and Kristen, Darien and Crysta here today, during such difficult circumstances.

As many of you know, Stephen was an avid collector—cars (he only had thousands of them). He would sit for hours and watch cars go by. At the Prescott Camp Meeting, Stephen shared cars of every color and shape with our three grandchildren. They are obviously very special grandchildren or they would have never been permitted to play with Stephen’s vehicles. Just a few weeks ago, when our five-year-old grandson was coming to our home to see Stephen, he brought him five more cars! Last Monday, Stephen’s assignment was going to be to write Justin a “thank you,” but instead, Stephen had a life-changing event! I’m sure he’s completed our Justin a perfectly hand-written note while sitting at the feet of Jesus.

Stephen liked action! He got excited over “Love Bug” and “Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.” You see, these movies and others were filled with non-stop action and really kicked up the dust. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has been dubbed Heaven’s Number One Nascar driver, or as a Nazarene I’d like call it the “Naz”car award!

Nearly any place you saw Stephen, he would be wearing his favorite baseball cap of the day. This was another one of his collections. Stephen also enjoyed bowling and football! Being from Washington, DC, home of the Redskins, he is now resting on his favorite Redskins’ pillow and sheet! He had an “eye” for photography and often encouraged his Mom and Dad to take pictures of unique sights.

Stephen enjoyed school and developed close friends at Young Life Capernaum, a segment of Young Life that serves young adults with special needs. What a blessing for him to be involved with such an outstanding ministry that supported him and countless other special young adults.

As always, God paved the way for Stephen when he went to Ecuador with his parents in missions work. A young man immediately saw the God-given potential Stephen had and mentored him in such ways that Dave and Pam knew their assignment was of God. Little is much if God is in it! And Stephen was abundantly blessed in Ecuador.

I asked our friends Merritt and Judy what I should share about Stephen. They immediately said, “Stephen loved to sing.” Stephen and Jeffrey were always involved in the children’s music. Jeffrey played the saxophone at camp meeting and in the church orchestra; and in recent years, Stephen took guitar lessons.

Evelyn recalled Stephen as a little boy as she tried to get him to go to sleep at her home. Living on the hill above Reagan National Airport, Stephen had more important things to do than sleep—he had his very own highway of fast cars outside the huge picture window to keep him mesmerized. Not to mention the airplanes taking off and landing right before his eyes! What entertainment!

Stephen liked to play with his friend Timmy who was also born in 1979. Timmy’s mother remembers how she always cherished seeing the joy Stephen brought to his Mom and Dad.

Stephen was a cooperative traveler—wherever his Mom and Dad went, he joined them. We’ve visited each other numerous times in Virginia, Arizona, Ohio, and Massachusetts where my husband gave Stephen another baseball cap, albeit a very special Eastern Nazarene College one. We fans are confident that he’s probably wearing a Red Sox one right now! How heavenly!

Bill and I team taught a young couples' Sunday School class in DC First Church; Pam and Dave were members of the class, and for a number of years they taught classes for children. The family was not only faithful to Christ and the church, but they were faithful disciples in bringing others with them. Their automobile always had room for one more. Stephen and Jeffrey were always there with them as they served and participated in the church, doing whatever was needed. When anyone asked us about them, our description was and still is “faithful servants and true friends.”

Bill and I count it a privilege to have been here in this church with Pam, Dave, and Stephen just two weeks ago. Stephen brought joy and envy to all of us after church as he most thoroughly enjoyed his pancake brunch! His sensitivity to others was a gift from God as he almost offered to share his most-cherished pancakes with us. Stephen’s joy was elevated when he had pizza, Pepsi, and crushed chocolate brownie toppings.

A friend that I met recently through a Bible study is praying for you and wanted you to have this poem titled, “To All Parents” by Edgar A. Guest.

[Doris read the poem.]

As we are mourning the passing of Stephen, Pam and Dave are confident that “God has a plan.” Stephen’s passing is part of that plan. Now Jeffrey, Dave, Pam and all of us must all pick up where Stephen left off.

Our Heavenly Father’s words describe Pam and Dave so fittingly, “Well done thou good and faithful servant, you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many” (Matthew 25:23). The same can be said of Stephen. He has been victorious in fighting the good fight! Like his thousands of cars, “He has won the race!”

Our dear friend Evelyn so effectively summed up Stephen’s passing, “I feel anxious to meet the ‘real’ Stephen. I have an idea what was inside him, but it was locked up pretty tightly.” May we all look forward to the day when we, too, will be privileged to meet a new and victorious Stephen.

Doris presented these memories of Stephen at his funeral.