A New Adventure

A week ago we were at our cabin in Prescott enjoying a beautiful afternoon and thinking about a summer in the pines. About then we noticed a message to call the office at the Global Ministry Center that coordinates volunteers. The conversation went something like this:

"Would you be interested in house sitting for the pastor of our church in Saipan? They will be on the mainland for a month, and someone is needed to keep the church open during that time."

"We would consider that. When do they need us?"

"June 27."

"Really? That soon?"

We quickly called some friends and asked them to pray with us. At lunch, we had been talking to our friend, Byron, who is our district superintendent, so we tracked him down again. Byron and his wife, Leanna, had lived and worked in the Asia-Pacific Region, so we wanted his advice. He promised to pray for us as we considered the opportunity.

As we were talking with Byron, Dave, the pastor, called us from Saipan to explain the situation. He and his wife Helen Ann teach in the public schools on the island and pastor a church in their home. They invited us to stay in their home and provide continuity for the congregation in their absence.

We prayed and Googled. Our only big expense would be the airfares, nearly $4000. The weather is hot and humid; that would be different from hot and dry. The language is English. The Northern Mariana Islands are a US commonwealth. Could we get everything ready that quickly? What is more important: was this something that God wanted us to do?

After more conversations and e-mail exchanges, we were convinced that we should do it. Early Saturday afternoon, we e-mailed Dave and Helen Ann to let them know that we intended to come. With the 17-hour time difference they started their Sunday knowing that we were coming. Sunday afternoon, we bought our tickets.

The race is on. To get a reasonable airfare and to get there for the Sunday before Dave and Helen Ann leave, we are flying a week from today, June 22, on an early morning flight to Seattle, then on to Tokyo-Narita, and finally, after an overnight layover, on to Saipan.

We need your prayers. This is a stretch for us: to try to help a congregation that we do not know. It is obviously also a financial commitment. If you would like to financially partner with us in meeting this need, send us an e-mail or give us a call. Look for us on Facebook to find our contact information.

A Memorable Trip

Last week was a good week of memories and making memories. Stephen's birthday was Thursday, so Pamela wanted to do something Stephen had enjoyed. He liked the San Diego Zoo so we decided to go there; and, on the spur of the moment, we invited our friends Doris and Bill to go with us.

We drove to San Diego on Wednesday. Deron met us at our hotel when we arrived, and we all went to Old Town for dinner. It was a beautiful evening. We sat on the restaurant patio by a nice fire.

Our hotel room overlooked Interstate 5 (just under the window) and the airport (about a mile away). It was the sort of room that Stephen would have loved. We didn't mind it at all.

Thursday, we wandered the zoo most of the day. We didn't feel we needed to see it all, so we relaxed and walked and talked. The flowers in particular captivated us.

In the evening, we went down to the harbor and rode pedicabs to the restaurant where we were joined by Rob and Wanda and their two kids. We celebrated Rob's birthday which he shared with Stephen.

Saturday, we drove back home and took our time. We went through Temecula and Hemet. We stopped for gas and a visit to Costco on Dinah Shore Drive in Palm Desert just to say that we had been there.

We often crave stronger memories; but at other times we are overwhelmed by a sudden, unexpected recollection. Pamela is right that we should also, from time to time, make new memories that honor Stephen and his life.

This is one.

Have a Groovy Christmas

Ask Santa for a motorcycle.
Put up the tree.
Put up the lights.
Take paper off the toys.

Give other people presents.
Eat a big lunch.
Go to the stores, and
Have a groovy Christmas.

by Stephen with help from his music therapist, Sabra

My Journey with Stephen

I first met Pam and Dave more than 35 years ago when they were living in the Washington, DC area. They hosted Bill and me and our three children for dinner in their home even before they had Stephen. That invitation started a life-changing journey for our families, and we have been friends ever since. They were brave and courageous then and still are today!

In fact, when we received the telephone call from Dave on Monday saying they needed us—we said, “What a way for Stephen to go. He went to sleep and stepped right into the arms of Jesus.” We immediately went to their home and breathed a prayer of thanks that we were here in Arizona to share in their pain at “such a time as this.” Maybe God knew their needs when our house sold so quickly in Ohio and we were able to recently move out here.

Our entire Washington, DC, Church of the Nazarene family is greatly saddened by the news of Stephen’s sudden passing. Now, from different areas of the world, they send their condolences to you—Pam, Dave, Jeffrey, Kristen, Darien and Crysta, plus all of you extended family members. Two of these couples are here today. We were privileged to know Dave’s mother, as well as Pam’s mother and father. When our mutual friends have asked about how you were doing, we’ve responded, “They are doing just like they have lived their lives every day—faithful and on a firm foundation!”

In 1979, their lives changed significantly with the birth of Stephen.

A couple of years later Jeffrey was born, and I had the privilege of taking care of Stephen while Pam was in the hospital for Jeffrey’s birth.

Our church family prayed unceasingly when Stephen underwent life-altering surgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. He was one of our children, and we all shared the pain. God intervened and touched Stephen, and his life was extended beyond what doctors predicted.

When Jeffrey was diagnosed with meningitis, I met Dave at Fairfax Hospital and, again, took Stephen home with me. Once again our corporate prayers were answered as Jeffrey fully recovered. His big brother Stephen loved Jeffrey more than he could ever express. That love was mutual. Stephen always looked out for Jeffrey! When people were passing out give-always, Stephen really didn’t care if he received one, but he made sure he got one for Jeffrey. Jeffrey, we love you, and are so happy to see you and Kristen, Darien and Crysta here today, during such difficult circumstances.

As many of you know, Stephen was an avid collector—cars (he only had thousands of them). He would sit for hours and watch cars go by. At the Prescott Camp Meeting, Stephen shared cars of every color and shape with our three grandchildren. They are obviously very special grandchildren or they would have never been permitted to play with Stephen’s vehicles. Just a few weeks ago, when our five-year-old grandson was coming to our home to see Stephen, he brought him five more cars! Last Monday, Stephen’s assignment was going to be to write Justin a “thank you,” but instead, Stephen had a life-changing event! I’m sure he’s completed our Justin a perfectly hand-written note while sitting at the feet of Jesus.

Stephen liked action! He got excited over “Love Bug” and “Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.” You see, these movies and others were filled with non-stop action and really kicked up the dust. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has been dubbed Heaven’s Number One Nascar driver, or as a Nazarene I’d like call it the “Naz”car award!

Nearly any place you saw Stephen, he would be wearing his favorite baseball cap of the day. This was another one of his collections. Stephen also enjoyed bowling and football! Being from Washington, DC, home of the Redskins, he is now resting on his favorite Redskins’ pillow and sheet! He had an “eye” for photography and often encouraged his Mom and Dad to take pictures of unique sights.

Stephen enjoyed school and developed close friends at Young Life Capernaum, a segment of Young Life that serves young adults with special needs. What a blessing for him to be involved with such an outstanding ministry that supported him and countless other special young adults.

As always, God paved the way for Stephen when he went to Ecuador with his parents in missions work. A young man immediately saw the God-given potential Stephen had and mentored him in such ways that Dave and Pam knew their assignment was of God. Little is much if God is in it! And Stephen was abundantly blessed in Ecuador.

I asked our friends Merritt and Judy what I should share about Stephen. They immediately said, “Stephen loved to sing.” Stephen and Jeffrey were always involved in the children’s music. Jeffrey played the saxophone at camp meeting and in the church orchestra; and in recent years, Stephen took guitar lessons.

Evelyn recalled Stephen as a little boy as she tried to get him to go to sleep at her home. Living on the hill above Reagan National Airport, Stephen had more important things to do than sleep—he had his very own highway of fast cars outside the huge picture window to keep him mesmerized. Not to mention the airplanes taking off and landing right before his eyes! What entertainment!

Stephen liked to play with his friend Timmy who was also born in 1979. Timmy’s mother remembers how she always cherished seeing the joy Stephen brought to his Mom and Dad.

Stephen was a cooperative traveler—wherever his Mom and Dad went, he joined them. We’ve visited each other numerous times in Virginia, Arizona, Ohio, and Massachusetts where my husband gave Stephen another baseball cap, albeit a very special Eastern Nazarene College one. We fans are confident that he’s probably wearing a Red Sox one right now! How heavenly!

Bill and I team taught a young couples' Sunday School class in DC First Church; Pam and Dave were members of the class, and for a number of years they taught classes for children. The family was not only faithful to Christ and the church, but they were faithful disciples in bringing others with them. Their automobile always had room for one more. Stephen and Jeffrey were always there with them as they served and participated in the church, doing whatever was needed. When anyone asked us about them, our description was and still is “faithful servants and true friends.”

Bill and I count it a privilege to have been here in this church with Pam, Dave, and Stephen just two weeks ago. Stephen brought joy and envy to all of us after church as he most thoroughly enjoyed his pancake brunch! His sensitivity to others was a gift from God as he almost offered to share his most-cherished pancakes with us. Stephen’s joy was elevated when he had pizza, Pepsi, and crushed chocolate brownie toppings.

A friend that I met recently through a Bible study is praying for you and wanted you to have this poem titled, “To All Parents” by Edgar A. Guest.

[Doris read the poem.]

As we are mourning the passing of Stephen, Pam and Dave are confident that “God has a plan.” Stephen’s passing is part of that plan. Now Jeffrey, Dave, Pam and all of us must all pick up where Stephen left off.

Our Heavenly Father’s words describe Pam and Dave so fittingly, “Well done thou good and faithful servant, you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many” (Matthew 25:23). The same can be said of Stephen. He has been victorious in fighting the good fight! Like his thousands of cars, “He has won the race!”

Our dear friend Evelyn so effectively summed up Stephen’s passing, “I feel anxious to meet the ‘real’ Stephen. I have an idea what was inside him, but it was locked up pretty tightly.” May we all look forward to the day when we, too, will be privileged to meet a new and victorious Stephen.

Doris presented these memories of Stephen at his funeral.

Young Life Capernaum

I am honored that Dave and Pam asked me to share a few words with you about my relationship with my friend Steve. They have also asked me to tell you a little bit about our ministry, Young Life Capernaum, that has been so much a part of Stephen’s life the last 8 years.

I first met Steve about 8 years ago. Dave and Pam and Steve live in North Central Phoenix near the Phoenix preserve area; they live just a few doors down from a very popular trailhead for climbing Shaw Butte. My wife and I would park at the trailhead quite often and one day I noticed a young man sitting on the curb watching the cars and people—well, it was Steve. As I passed by him in my car I rolled down the window and said hello. Of course, Steve ignored me—his parents had faithfully taught him ”stranger danger”. Over the course of a few weeks, I saw Steve sitting on the curb numerous times. Each time I would stop and say hello, and each time he would completely ignore me. One time during our comings and goings, his father Dave came by to get him to take him back to the house. I was fortunate to get to share with Dave about our ministry to teens and young adults with disabilities. Soon afterward, we were excited when Dave brought Steve to club, and he became one of our most faithful participants for 8 years.

The video that was shown at the beginning of the service [Phoenix Capernaum Club: Amazing Grace] was filmed at one of our Capernaum clubs. Our Capernaum group meets weekly on Thursday nights during the school year and a few times during the summer. We average 30 to 40 friends with disabilities every week, and Steve was one of our most faithful participants. In Young Life, we believe that “It is a sin to bore a kid with the Gospel,” so we have a lot of fun in our gatherings which we call “Club”. We sing songs, do crazy skits, play wacky games—but our primary goal is to share the Love of Jesus Christ with our friends. We emphasize to our friends that they are special, they are made in the image of God, that they all have special gifts from God, that Jesus Christ died on the Cross for all of us so that we might have a relationship with our Father in Heaven and have eternal salvation.

Steve loved to come to Young Life club. He had his favorite place to sit and would somehow squeeze into his spot if someone else were sitting there. He always wore a baseball cap and a t-shirt or sweatshirt with a team logo on it.

One of our favorite things to do at club is “Talent Night” where the kids can sing a song or do a dance or play a musical instrument. On several occasions Steve would bring his guitar and play one of his two favorite songs—I’ve Been Working on the Railroad or Santa Claus is Coming to town. His mom, Pam, told me she and Steve had been talking about what song he wanted to sing at our next talent night, and he was going to add Amazing Grace to his repertoire. As we heard at the beginning of the service, when our friends sing Amazing Grace, it is the voice of angels singing; and I am sure Steve is singing along today.

Usually once a year we have a “Show and tell” Club. I remember one year Steve brought a bag with about 100 toy Hot Wheels cars to share. When I was reminiscing with Dave and Pam this week and shared this with them, they told me how lucky I was that he only brought 100 cars. I went into his room, and now have a better understanding of what they meant—Steve loved cars!!

Steve loved and adored Santa Claus and Christmas—it didn’t matter what time of year it was. At our Capernaum Christmas Clubs, I would dress up as Santa and have the joy of sharing the “magic” of Christmas with our friends. Every year Steve would faithfully bring his list to share with Santa. It always included cars.

Young Life Capernaum is a specialty ministry within our parent ministry, Young Life. Young Life was founded 69 years ago in Texas and is now present in every state and in over 100 countries internationally. We are currently reaching over 1 million teens around the world. The majority of Young Life reaches out to un-churched and disinterested high school teenagers. One of the beliefs of Young Life is “Every Kid everywhere for eternity”. So as the ministry grew over the years, the focus expanded to include Junior High kids (which is call WyldLife), College students, teens on military bases, teenage mothers (Young Lives), and people with disabilities (Capernaum).

Capernaum was founded 23 years ago in San Jose, CA. The ministry was small for a number of years. Our Phoenix group started 13 years ago in Northeast Phoenix. Over the last six or seven years the ministry has grown to over 140 locations, and in the last three years in Arizona we are now reaching over 100 friends in four active groups here in the valley and growing groups in Flagstaff, Prescott and Tucson. We now have over 30 volunteer leaders serving our young friends in Arizona. If you would like to be a part of our ministry, come and see!!

Dave and Pam have asked that we play a short video with you about our ministry and the friends we serve. There is a sweet shot of Steve in a red t-shirt about five minutes into the video.

[The video Capernaum: Village of Comfort was shown.]

Many of us are uncomfortable with people like Stephen who has a disability. The gentleman at the end of the video encourages us to take a chance and seek out a person with a disability and try to connect with them—be comfortable with being uncomfortable, take the time to get to know them.

In Matthew 25:40, Jesus reminds us that “whatever we do for the least of these” we do for Him. The Message bible translates this as “whatever we do for someone overlooked and ignored” we do for Him. Our friends with disabilities are overlooked and ignored every day and unfortunately many of them are “ignored” by their own families.

Dave and Pam, I am so thankful that God chose you to be Stephen’s parents because you have loved him unconditionally, you shared the Love of Christ with him, and you gave other people like me and the people here today a chance to know Stephen and to love him.

[The videos are available at http://phoenixcapernaum.younglife.org/]

Presented by David Thames at Stephen’s funeral, February 1 2010 in Tempe, Arizona.

Stephen's Life

Stephen was born in Falls Church,Virginia, on Sunday, May 27, 1979 and died in Phoenix, Arizona in his sleep on Monday, January 25, 2010. At birth, Stephen was diagnosed with Noonan's Syndrome which encompassed some physical anomalies as well as developmental delays. He began to have seizures at age two and at age twelve a brain tumor was diagnosed. Following the surgery, Dr. Ben Carson, who is Chief of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins University Hospital, became his doctor and followed his progress.

After the family moved to Phoenix, Arizona in 2000, Stephen attended and graduated from Thunderbird High School and began attending Life Challenge. With his friends there, he enjoyed bowling, cooking, movies, field trips and more. He attended weekly meetings of Young Life Capernaum and received twice weekly sessions at Neurologic Music Therapy Services of Arizona.

In 2004 he won a trophy in the Phoenix Special Olympics Bowling Tournament for the highest scratch score for a male bowler not using an aid. Over the years he received many 1st, 2nd, or 3rd place team and individual medals in bowling, bocci ball, softball throw, and running.

He liked learning to play the guitar, playing tennis, softball, and riding his bicycle, as well as playing Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt video games. An avid collector of model cars, team t-shirts, and sports caps, Stephen never tired of making new acquisitions to his collections.

During his life Stephen was active in three Nazarene churches: Washington D.C. First, Phoenix Monte Vista and Tempe. He was thrilled when he went to Ecuador with his parents who studied at the Nazarene International Language Institute in 2008.

Stephen loved Jesus and was a blessing to his family and his friends.

Friends Every Day

It happened often, and it happened everywhere. Maybe it happened when we met you.

Stephen would approach someone and ask, “Do you want to be our friend every day?”

It happened to the little boy and girl at the restaurant. It happened to my co-workers at the Testing Services Branch. It happened often at church. It happened at Life Challenge and school and Music Therapy. It happened in Washington and Phoenix, and in 2008, it happened in Ecuador. He would get you and us and bring us together for this urgent conversation. Maybe we were needed to confirm it, maybe to help you understand because you may have been a little confused about what he was asking. Probably we needed to be part of the commitment he wanted.

“Do you want to be our friend every day? My name is Stephen.”

If you looked puzzled, we might interject, “He just wants to be your friend.”

You would be so good and say, “Of course, Stephen, I’ll be your friend.”

Then Stephen would turn to us and exclaim, “They are going to be our friends every day!” He might grab you by the hand or arm or give you an enthusiastic hug, and then turn again to us and say, “They are going to be our friends every day!”

“Every day?”

We might not meet again for days or months or years, but we were friends forever, always, “Every day!”

In the evening, at prayer time Stephen’s turn was always the longest. He prayed for so many. “Let Pam have a good night’s sleep. Let Dad have a good night’s sleep. Let Jeffrey have a good night’s sleep. (He married my friend Kristen, but he’s still part of our family too.) And let Jeffrey’s kids have a good night sleep...and...my cousins (Some of them married, and I have more cousins.)...and...the men who worked on our house...and...my little boy friend and my little girl friend...and...my friend Bobbi...and...my friends Jeremy and Ryan...and...Susie and Marcia...”

When Stephen prayed for someone to “have a good night’s sleep,” I believe he meant something like this: “Lord, lift my friends’ cares and burdens and through Your grace give them the peace that will let them rest.”

When Stephen saw you again, he would grab you or us and bring us together and declare, “This is our friend. He is going to be our friend every day!”

“Yes, Stephen.”

“This is our friend. She is going to be our friend every day!”

“Yes, Stephen.”

“These are our friends. They are going to be our friends every day!”

“Yes, Stephen.”

That renewed covenant was enacted over and over again at Life Challenge, church, Young Life, the mall, family reunions, campmeeting, and General Assemblies.

You were such good friends.

Sunday night after prayers and kisses and hugs, Stephen was tucked in and went to sleep. In the night he met his oldest friend face to face. I can only imagine him running up to us now holding that friend by His hand.

“This is our best friend, Jesus! He’s going to be our friend every day!”

This memory of Stephen was written by his father and was read at his funeral, February 1 2010 in Tempe, Arizona.